ʻO ka wā hou o ke ola,ʻo ia ka mea e pono ai ka hoʻomohala a me ka hoʻoikaikaʻana, loaʻa kaʻike a me nā akamai hou, me ka nānāʻole i keʻano o ka hana. A mākaukau ka pilikino no nā hanana likeʻole o ke ola, akā, inā paha he mea hoʻopihapiha kēia i kaʻohana.
Ke manaʻo nei nā mākua a pau i ka hānaiʻana o ke keiki, ma mua paha o kona hānauʻana, akā,ʻaʻole iʻike nā kānaka a pau e hana pono ai, no ka mea, heʻano likeʻole nā keiki a pau, nā mea likeʻole. Aʻo ka hana hana e hoʻonaʻauao ai i kahi'ōpio'ōpioʻaʻole e hana mau iʻelua manawa. A pehea ka pili o kēlā mau mākua i hoʻoholo i ke keiki, me nāʻano a me nāʻano i hoʻokumuʻia?
He mea paʻakikī ka hanaʻana i ka mea āu i manaʻo ai he pono? E hoʻomakaʻoe e ho'āʻoʻaʻole eʻae i nā hewa o kou mau mākua, e hoʻokahū i ka hopena kaumaha o nā hoaaloha a ho'āʻo e hana i kekahi. ʻAʻole pinepine kēia. A pehea e haʻi aku ai i ke keiki i kahi āu e makemake ai? Ma hope o nā mea a pau, inā heʻano lokomaikaʻiʻoe me kahi keiki, hiki iāʻoe ke'ānai i ka waiwai, a ulu aʻe i kahi keiki paʻakikī, "paʻakikī". Pēlā nō, hiki iāʻoe ke palekana me ka paʻakikī, a mau loa aku ka mahalo a hilinaʻi iāʻoe iho. Aʻo ka hewa no kēia mea,ʻoʻoe wale nō. ʻO kaʻaoʻao wale nō kahi e aʻo ai. A o kekahi o nā māmāʻoi loa a me ka "loaʻa kālā" o ka kūʻaiʻana i puke i ka hānaiʻana i nā keiki.
I ka hikiʻana mai i ka hale kūʻai, ua piha nā papa helu i nā kīʻaha likeʻole a me nā kiʻi kūpono o nā puke, aia he nui o lākou, no ka meaʻoiaʻiʻo kaʻoiaʻiʻo. Akā pehea e koho pololei ai i kāu mea e pono ai, pehea e kūʻai ai i kahi puke e hiki ai iāʻoe ke pilikino ma kēia me nā mea'ē aʻe akāʻo ka mea koʻikoʻi paha? Nui nā kumuhana e kauʻia ma luna o nā kuhikuhi o kēlā me kēiaʻaoʻao e haʻi iāʻoe pehea e hana ai i kahi kūlana i hāʻawiʻia. Akā,ʻaʻole e hiki i nā mea a pau ke manaʻoʻiʻo i ka mea kākau a hahai pono i ka algorithm. Eia kekahi,ʻo ka hapa nui o nā hana ke hanaʻole i ka hana, aʻaʻole lākou e wehewehe i nā mea i maopopo.
ʻO nā pukeʻo Perelopativ e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauaoʻana o nā keiki, nā mea kākau a me nā mea paʻi puke, uaʻikeʻoe i ka paʻakikī eʻike i kahi hana pono.
Akā ua loaʻa kahi hopena. ʻO kahi puke e hana aiʻoe e noʻonoʻo, e ulu ai, aʻo ka mea nui loa: e hoʻolālā i ka kuleana pilikino. He mea nui loa ka hopena. He manawa paʻakikī loa ka paneʻana no kā lākou hana ma mua o ke keiki, no ka mea he maʻalahi loa ka pāpāʻana i kekahi mea, akā, ma ia hope aku, e hana houʻo ia noʻoe. ʻO nā mea kākau o ka puke i nīnauʻiaʻo John lāuaʻo Karen Miller, nā mākua oʻehiku keiki! Uaʻike kēia poʻe i ka hānaiʻana o nā keiki ma ka loheʻole. He maʻalahi ka heluhelu, aia i loko o nā manaʻo maikaʻi, nā mea maʻalahi a me nā'ōlelo maikaʻi. ʻO nāʻano o nā mea kākau o ka puke e kāpae i nāʻano kelepona o ka hānaiʻana i nā keiki, e pili ana i ka uluʻana o ke kanaka, i ka wā e hiki mai ana i ka wā e hiki ai ke kōkua i ke kūkuluʻana i nā mākau kūpono i ka hana hānaiʻana i nā keiki.
ʻO ka puke "Rules of Happy Families" kahi pilikino noʻu. Uaʻokoʻa loa ia mai nā puke'ē aʻe likeʻole. E kōkua ana kēia puke i nā pilikia he nui (me nā wā lōʻihi) ma ka pilina ma waena o nā mākua a me nā keiki, me ka nānāʻole i ko lākou mau makahiki, no ka mea,ʻaʻole i lōʻihi ke aʻo.
ʻO Andrew, ka makua kāne o nā keikiʻelua.